The Carousel of Chicanery Rides On

Today the man whose resume includes such sterling leadership roles as the collapsed shares of Home Depot stock and the complete failure that is Crysler has been hired as a business adviser to the vulture capital group Cerberus. To understand the level of incompetence rewarded, you have to understand that this guy made his two previous employers lose huge amounts of market share and one went bankrupt. In hiring this fellow, Cerberus has done the business equivalent of hiring a pyromaniac to watch over your house while you are on vacation. What compels companies to continually rehire such failures? You would think with 16.9% real unemployment that there would be someone maybe more qualified than a three time loser who got himself huge golden parachutes?

I will go a step further than just complaining and offer my (sarcastic of course) recommendation for the job. I would want someone who can sell anything, has years of experience with a variety of products and has a good television appeal. In short, I want Ron Popeil, the inventor of such contraptions as the Showtime Oven and Hair in a Can Spray. The man alone has created more products than half of the individual companies in the United States. With such experience, he seems a natural businessl eader for a vulture capitalist firm such a Cerberus. He could even go to boardrooms and present charts and say "that's not all, if you do this you also get these results included at no extra charge." It would be pure brilliance, just look at an informercial with the guy to see how he could be a titan of industry.